


The Way Things Were

by unfolded73



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M, Missing Scene, Pete's World
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-07
Updated: 2013-12-07
Packaged: 2018-01-03 21:02:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1073020
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfolded73/pseuds/unfolded73
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose remembers the ambiguity of her relationship with the Doctor on her first night with his part-human counterpart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Way Things Were

**Author's Note:**

> Originally published 29 April 2010. A first-time fic for Ten II/Rose with flashbacks to S2 Ten/Rose. What I said at the time: Wow, good old Ten/Rose inspiration, I'd almost forgotten what that was like! Thanks to fid_gin for writing "Speechless," because it was in pondering what might have happened next after the events that fic (specifically, in pondering if the Doctor and Rose were separated before anything had a chance to happen), that I came up with the idea for this one.

The multiverse was out to screw with her. That was the only explanation.

"A volcano?" she asked the Doctor again, as if the answer would be different this time. She couldn't take her eyes off his neck. He wore a dark red-burgundy T-shirt under this incongruous blue suit, and her eyes kept drifting back to the exposed skin of his neck. She wondered what he tasted like there. She wondered if it would be familiar or strange. Familiar _and_ strange, perhaps.

He shrugged, standing awkwardly on the other side of an anonymous bed in their Bergen hotel room. "Ash from a volcano in Iceland, is what they said," he replied as if she didn't already know. "All the planes and zeppelins are grounded."

"Don't they understand that I just saved the world and I deserve to sleep in my own bed?" she said.

"I tried to explain that," he replied with a smirk.

Two beds, she thought as she looked back and forth between them. And it would be easy if they'd been lovers before; it would also be easy if they absolutely hadn't been. _"Were you and him...?"_ she heard Donna asking, and she could no more answer the question now as she could then, or ever.

 

~~~

 

Their first kiss is at the Olympics, but it isn't the way she would write it if she were writing their story as a romance. It isn't under the fireworks that first night, that night for lost things being found, when his prophetic warning makes her shiver against the sleeve of his coat. No, their first kiss happens a few days later, when Great Britain wins its second gold medal in swimming, and their celebration turns into a hug, and the hug turns into a kiss. A simple press of lips against lips, but just slightly too long to be celebratory. The Doctor pulls away looking startled and dishevelled, and it makes her want to kiss him again.

It isn't until they are walking back to the TARDIS much later that day that she gives in to the impulse: yanks the hand she holds to pull him out of the throng of people and into an alley. 

"Rose, what are you--" he starts to say before her lips seal over his. He doesn't resist her assault, but he doesn't exactly kiss her back, either. She opens her mouth, a wet movement of her lips on his, but she stops short of getting her tongue involved, given his ambivalent reception. When she pulls away, his eyes flutter open and his expression is unreadable.

She doesn't want to apologise; she has nothing to apologise for, but it pops out of her mouth before she can stop it: "Sorry."

"Rose ..." And behind her name, she can almost hear all his reasons for why they can't do this.

"No, it's ... sorry. I was swept up in the moment." She smiles what she hopes is a cheeky smile that covers up the way her heart is sinking. "Don't worry about it." Before he can say anything else, she pulls him back into the street, and the rest of the walk to the TARDIS happens in silence.

 

~~~

 

In the end, the hotel bed problem was solved, if perhaps not in the way Rose or the Doctor might have wished. The door to the room flew open as the two of them had continued to eye each other across the expanse of mattress and sheets and very-white duvet. "No more rooms, and don't think I didn't give that clerk what for," Jackie was saying as she dumped some bags onto the floor. "At least the concierge got us some toothbrushes and things, once I explained who I was. I'm going to take a shower. Leave me the bed next to the loo, and I don't want any funny business between the two of you. Save it for when you're alone." With that, the whirlwind of Jackie Tyler disappeared into the en suite.

The Doctor looked like he wanted to drop through the floor. 

"A shower sounds like a good idea," Rose said in a neutral tone, going over to inspect the bags her mother had brought in. There were some pyjamas, stiff with starch and with that vaguely unpleasant chemical smell of new clothes. She tossed the men's pair at the Doctor, gathering up her own pyjamas and toiletries and sitting in the desk chair while the Doctor stretched out on the bed. They waited.

"Are you exhausted?" she asked him after a long silence. The sandwich she'd wolfed down in the hotel restaurant, her only food that day, sat like a stone in her stomach.

"Why?"

"I don't know ... I thought it might be like regenerating."

"Not exactly," he said. "But I am tired. What about you?"

Rose laughed without mirth. "I've forgotten what getting regular sleep was like, to be honest."

She could see his concern for her in the deep wells of his eyes. He looked like he wanted to take care of her, and in spite of herself, she very much wanted to let him.

Her mother came out of the bathroom in a cloud of steam, already dressed for bed. "I feel like I could sleep for a year," Jackie said as she crawled under the covers.

When Rose finished with her own shower, she came back out into the room to see her mother snoring in one bed and the Doctor turned away toward the opposite wall on the other. She thought he might have dozed off as well, but she rounded the bed to see him with his eyes open, staring into space.

"Bathroom's all yours," she told him, and he stood stiffly, like his muscles ached. He gave her a small smile as he gathered his belongings and excused himself.

Rose got under the crisp sheets, warmed by the Doctor's recent presence on top of them. She felt her muscles tense as she waited for him to return to the bed they were going to share. So she was surprised when she woke what felt like a moment later to the Doctor getting into bed next to her, the scent of soap and shampoo rolling off his warm skin.

"Sorry," he whispered. "I tried not to wake you." His pyjama trousers were too short, she noticed. He arranged himself on his side, keeping a safe distance from her in the bed.

"It's okay." They faced each other, only their knees touching under the covers. The Doctor's face was a little stubbly already, and Rose resisted the impulse to reach out and stroke his cheek. "I'm feeling a lot of things right now -- mostly anger -- about what happened back on the beach. But I'm too exhausted to unpack all of that. I just ... I can't think about it."

"That's fine."

"So can we just ... Can you just be him and hold me right now?" Rose swallowed against a lump in her throat.

The Doctor pulled her into his arms without hesitation, and Rose buried her nose in the crook of his neck, her heart pounding. 

"I _am_ him. I promise, Rose, I am him."

She nodded, not trusting her voice.

"I missed you," he whispered. "I don't know if I can ever express how very much I missed you."

 

~~~

 

They stand in the kitchen of Jackie's small flat, conferring in whispered tones over the white, plastic tea kettle. "I don't understand why she's so convinced that thing was my grandad," Rose says. The ghosts disappeared only minutes ago.

"I don't know." The Doctor rakes a hand through his hair, a sure sign that he's worried. Rose hears the telly click on in the next room.

"So how bad do you think this is on a scale of one to 'really bad'?"

"I don't know."

"We should talk to Mum," Rose says, already turning away to go into the sitting room, when the Doctor grabs her hand. He doesn't say anything, just pulls her close to him and kisses her. It is desperate and a little frantic, and Rose has fantasized about this often enough that her shock doesn't prevent her from kissing him back. The feel of the Doctor's tongue in her mouth makes heat pool between her legs.

The kiss ends and they stand there, breathing heavily in the shared space and staring at each other. The Doctor looks terrified.

"What brought that on?" Rose asks.

"I don't know."

"Would you do it again?"

And he does, pressing her up against the kitchen counter as his mouth meets hers. Rose clutches the back of his suit jacket, unable to stop herself from writhing against him, just a little. She gets bold, trailing her lips down from his mouth to his chin and into the crook of his neck. The scent of his skin there is heavenly, and she wants more than anything to learn the scent and taste of every inch of him.

"We don't have time for this right now, do we?" Rose murmurs against his neck.

"No." His voice is a little unsteady, and Rose smiles. He takes a step back and breathes a shuddery breath.

"Later?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah?" She hopes he understands what she's asking, and when his eyes meet hers, she could swear he does.

"Yes."

 

~~~

 

She woke to a room full of light and her mother sitting on the other bed, clicking her mobile closed. Jackie was back in her clothes from the day before.

"Pete pulled some strings, and he thinks he'll be able to get the jet out to us this evening," Jackie whispered when she saw Rose with her eyes open. "I'm going to go buy some new clothes and then order us some breakfast."

"I can come with you." The Doctor slept on next to her, oblivious. Rose started to get up.

"No, stay. You need the rest."

"I'm fine."

Jackie's eyes flicked over to the man in bed with her daughter. "Stay with him, Rose. Don't run away. I'll be back in a couple of hours." Leaving no room for argument, Jackie left the hotel room, the door snicking closed behind her.

Rose got up to brush her teeth and use the loo. As she climbed back under the covers, the Doctor stirred. "You been awake long?" he rasped.

"No. Mum just went out for a little while, and I was brushing my teeth."

The Doctor smacked his tongue inside his mouth and made a face. "That's a capital idea."

When he got back into bed, Rose's heart sped up. There was really no reason for them to stay in bed, other than the desire to be in bed together. She moved over close and threw an arm over his waist, and the Doctor pulled her into a tight embrace. "Did you sleep well?"

He sighed. "The last time I slept that long was when I regenerated. So perhaps you were right."

"Humans need sleep."

"Yes, I've noticed that."

"Can I ask you something?" Rose said.

"Anything."

"The last time we were together, in Mum's flat. Do you remember?"

The Doctor pulled away enough to study her expression. "Of course I remember."

"You kissed me. And I was hoping ... I was thinking that once we saved the world, you were going to take me back to the TARDIS, and ... " She flushed, and then forced herself to say it out loud. "I was hoping that after, we would make love."

"Me too. Well, I hoped, but I was also terrified of the prospect."

"Is that why you tried to send me away?" she asked. The thought had occurred to her before, in those traitorous moments when she doubted his feelings for her.

"No. Oh, Rose, never. I only wanted you safe, and I thought--"

"You're an idiot."

"Yes."

"I want you to promise me something, right now. Swear to me that you'll never do that again. Swear to me that you'll never send me away for my own good ever again."

He put a hand on her cheek. "I don't think I'm strong enough for that anymore. I need you too much."

"Kiss me," she said.

And he did. Like a million fantasies come to life, he did, with an intensity that left her breathless. Rolling her underneath him, he kissed and kissed her, her scratchy pyjamas rubbing her skin as they moved together. She rotated her hips against the pressure of his erection, and the Doctor pulled his mouth away from hers, gasping.

"There's something wrong," he said.

"What?"

"With my nervous system, there's something ... I feel light-headed and completely out of control."

He looked so worried, and Rose bit down on her lip to keep from laughing in his face. "You're supposed to feel that way, Doctor," she said gently. "We're about to have sex for the first time."

"Humans feel like this _every time_?" He seemed flabbergasted.

"Only the best times. I definitely feel light-headed and out of control right now," she said with a smile.

"Blimey."

"I'll be right here with you," she whispered, brushing her lips across his. "Be out of control with me."

"I love you," he gasped, kissing her frantically. Undressing was clumsy, as she pulled her pyjama top over her head without unfastening the buttons, resulting in pulled hair, and he got his trousers tangled around his ankles and managed to elbow her in the face as he struggled to get them off. But the moment when their naked bodies came together under the sheet was still bliss, and his hand exploring between her legs made Rose forget everything but this moment, _now_ , with the man she had loved for so long.

"Now," she said as she pushed him onto his back, straddling his hips. She took his cock in her hand to guide him inside and he trembled, pushing his head back into the pillow, his long neck extended before her. Rose sank down, enjoying the sensation of him filling her, enjoying the way he groaned and lifted his hips helplessly against her.

She set up a rhythm, keeping him buried deep and sliding back and forth the barest inch, grinding her pelvis against his and enjoying the friction. The Doctor's hands gripped her hips and his eyes were shut tight; already he seemed to be holding on by a thread.

"Wanted this," he said through gritted teeth, "and I _missed you_. I missed you so much."

They moved together, and Rose felt the almost unbearable heat and pleasure of her orgasm building and building. "Stay with me," she moaned, barely aware of the words.

"Forever," he said, and then cried out sharply as he came, his face contorting beautifully with the pleasure of it. That sight pushed Rose over the edge at last, and her voice joined with his in expressions of ecstasy.

They held each other for a long time after. There were no words, just gentle kisses and caresses as they floated languidly in a post-orgasmic haze. She stroked his cheek, and he picked her hand up and kissed her palm.

Their peace was interrupted by the click of the door lock, making Rose's eyes snap open. "Are you decent?" her mother called, only opening the door a crack.

"No!" Rose shouted, jumping out of bed and throwing the Doctor's blue suit at him. "Go to the loo," she hissed.

With the Doctor behind a closed door and her pyjamas hastily pulled back on, Rose called to her mother to come in. "Sorry about that," Rose said, blushing furiously. "The Doctor just happened to be changing, and ..."

Jackie just rolled her eyes as she dropped an armload of packages on the bed. "I'm not stupid, Rose. I always knew the way things were between the pair of you."

Rose snorted. "I didn't." She couldn't help the grin that bloomed on her face. "But I guess I do now."


End file.
